


Knife Storms and New Beginnings

by CrypticLinguist



Series: The Search for the Spirit Crown [1]
Category: Adventure Time
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:45:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrypticLinguist/pseuds/CrypticLinguist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Princess Bubblegum has interrupted Marceline's day with a long-winded story about kings and an idea for a delusional quest. Now, with some emotional baggage, a ragged old map and enough sexual tension to last an eternity, it might just be time for these two to start getting along... Or at the very least, stop getting annoyed at each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Knife Storms and Propositions

**Author's Note:**

> This will hopefully be the first chapter of many. If people like it, I'll try and update it at least once a week, maybe more. If people don't like it, I'll probably keep updating it, because why not?

It was raining knives in Ooo.  
Marceline stood at the mouth of her cave and breathed in the smell of the storm. Rusted metal clashing against fresh earth, with the slightest hint of genuine precipitation in the air. She loved the smell of a knife storm. She loved pretty much everything about a knife storm. Come on, she thought, it's raining knives. What sort of person can't see the inherent awesomeness of that phenomena?  
The edge of a blade caught her arm, and she took this as her cue to go inside. It was easing up; soon sunlight would be drenching the rolling green fields, and candy children would be playing in the forest, and her fun would be ruined. With a small sigh she floated back to her house and collapsed on the lounge, absentmindedly reaching for her bass. Nothing could make today interesting, she thought. Life- or a lack thereof, in her case- was simply too dull.  
Naturally, fate chose this moment to deliver a loud crash right outside her door, because this is the sort of thing that happens to people who question the likelihood of their being entertained.  
Wary, Marceline gripped the neck of her bass and lifted it over her shoulder. You never knew, there could be something nasty out there. A waylaid demon. A monster trying to claim her cave as its own. Relatives coming to visit.  
She shuddered and kicked open the door, weapon ready.  
"Who is it?" She looked down and noticed the figure at her feet. "Oh. Hey, Bonnibel."  
"I told you not to call me that," the princess sighed, getting to her feet and wiping debris from her shoulder. She had apparently come running in from the storm, and brought the flowerpots down around her. Marceline sighed. It would take a while to get them growing again.  
"Forgive me, your highness." She bowed low and straightened up with a smirk. "What brings you to my neck of the woods, anyway? I thought it would be a little dark for your tastes."  
"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Marcy," she said briskly, stepping past the vampire and shaking off her pink jacket inside.  
"Oh, thanks." Marceline rolled her eyes and shut the door.  
"Brr!" Bubblegum stretched and glanced out the window. "That's quite a storm. Pierced straight through my umbrella. I wish it would rain something other than knives."  
"I wish you'd get yourself a better umbrella. Or, you know, toughen up."  
Marceline shook her head as she drifted into the kitchen. The only person in the world who could dislike a knife storm was Bonnie.  
"You want something to eat?"  
"No thank you. I'm on rather a tight schedule."  
"Oh, that's a shame. I'm starving." She retrieved a bowl of strawberries and resumed her position on the couch. "So what's on your mind, Bon? I mean, other than the responsibilities of being a princess, a scientist and an insufferable know-it-all."  
Bubblegum went a little pinker than usual. Marceline grinned and drained the strawberry.  
"I have a mission for you," the princess said primly. "I hope you'll undertake it."  
"A mission?" Marceline gasped, floating upwards a little. "Does it involve candy canes and gumdrops? Will I have to hike up a mound of sugar? Is there some sort of gummy beast involved? Oh, no, don't tell me- There's a dangerous lake I might dissolve in?"  
Laughing, she drifted back into her seat and flung the shriveled white strawberry remnants onto the shoulder of a very disgruntled looking Bubblegum.  
"This is serious," she said. "I know you don't think very highly of my kingdom, and you think you're too important for my quests, but this is actually important."  
"I never said I was too important," Marceline said calmly, tuning her bass. "I just said they were too dumb."  
Bubblegum fumed silently for a moment before taking a deep breath, no doubt listening to some calming techniques tape that she had memorized.  
"I beg to differ."  
"Last time you got me to do one of these I was galumphing up a hill with thirty bananas in the middle of the night on the back of a gummy horse, and it turned out that we were chasing a very confused squirrel."  
"It was a criminal!"  
"It was dumb, Bonnie," Marcy yawned. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to take a nap."  
"Well, luckily for you, this mission isn't nearly so cutesy," Bubblegum called.  
Marceline turned around halfway through the door. Bonnie, calling her own kingdom 'cutesy'? Surely records were being made.  
"How far away from cutesy is it?"  
"About as far away as you are," she said seriously. Marceline grinned.  
"Dang, Bonnie. I haven't seen this mean side of you before. You may as well be horrible sunlight, because I just got burned."  
Bubblegum sighed and shook her head. "Statements like that make it very obvious that you're a thousand years old."  
"Join the club, then," she snapped. "What's this quest concerning, anyway? I refuse to be moved for anything with dimples."  
"You're in luck. This monster has no dimples at all."  
"Oh, so it's a monster, then?"  
"Not just one. Several."  
"Ooh, I'm liking this. But you're not one to go monster hunting for fun, Bonnie. What's this about?"  
Bubblegum smiled the way she always would when she was about to go into exposition mode.

A long, long time ago, there was a king without a kingdom. He knew that he was born into royalty, and he knew that the throne was his to claim, but he knew not where the throne lay. He wandered for miles and miles, over the vast desert expanse, going through many trials and tribulations for the sake of his missing people. One day, he came to a spirit. It spoke in rhyme, and promised to grant the misplaced king three wishes.  
"My royal, you have traveled far, and know not where your people are. I promise here to give to thee my cherished gift of wishes three."  
The king hesitated. He didn't know if he could trust the sprite, for it came in the form of a great angel, but its wings were made from bones. It waited for him expectantly with an unreadable face. He had journeyed far, and he knew that an opportunity such as this may never present itself to him again.  
"I accept your gift, oh spirit," he said, kneeling; for true royalty knows when to seize an opportunity, and always treat creatures with kindness.  
"The first of three is there to use. Now wish for what it is you choose."  
The king thought hard about it, and finally came to a decision. "I desire a compass, so that I may seek the kingdom I have lost."  
The spirit disappeared, and the king knew for a moment that he had been betrayed. Then he noticed the little golden disc lying where the creature had been only a moment before. He picked it up and discovered the compass, its golden needle pointing forwards.  
He eagerly followed the course laid out by it, and in time came to a forest. Between the blackened, broken trees he thought he caught glimpses of creatures and ghouls, and his heart began to pound. The compass needle was beginning to quaver, and seemed unsure of which direction to take. Eventually, out of fear, exhaustion and doubt, the king came to a halt.  
The spirit appeared before him once more.  
"A wish has been given to you, and now remaining are but two. The second gift is now at hand. Your royal wish is my command."  
"Oh spirit, your compass has been leading me false, and I grow fearful of these woods," the king cried. A true royal knows when to ask for help, and can always admit their weaknesses. "I wish for a sword of hallowed steel with which to protect myself."  
The spirit vanished once more, leaving a sword that glowed brilliantly white. The king took it up and advanced. No creatures sought to harm him, for the blade was enough to drive them off. Thus the king made it safely from the forest, and found himself in the remains of a great empire. The compass continued to show the way, strong and true, and the sword in his hand burned with resistance to evil. Surely he must be close. He could feel it- he knew that he had almost come to that great kingdom he must possess!  
He heard the murmur of distant voices, and emerged in a wide courtyard. Here milled hundreds of souls, lost without a king, crying out and fighting and living in disarray. Swords clashed, children wept, and the king knew that he had found those people that needed him most. Making his way through the crowd, he found a stage, upon which sat a throne of sullied gold. He ran towards it, and claimed his place before the people. Nobody took notice. It was as if he wasn't there at all. Distressed, he pulled out the compass. Its face was gone, and instead there was the emblem of a crown.  
This gave the king an idea. The spirit appeared once more, blocking out the rallying public with its formidable girth.  
"Your list of grants is soon to end, and with it I shall off, my friend. Before we let that moment come, I ask the last of your whole sum. One wish has not been granted here. Your third desire I want to hear."  
"My third wish, spirit, is for a crown, so that my people will recognize me," the king said. "But no ordinary crown. I wish for the crown to possess the guiding ability of my compass, and the fearlessness of my sword, and the resilience of my kingly self. But most of all, spirit, I wish for the crown to possess you- I desire your assistant in leadership, and so ask you to bind yourself to this one great and powerful object, that we might rule together."  
The king knew that true royalty should be unafraid of commanding their subjects, and that a true subject would not disobey a royal.  
The spirit said nothing. It disappeared for a third and final time and left in its place a crown that glowed white-blue like a hot flame. The king reached down and place it upon his head, and the people turned, and recognized him at last as the king returned to his kingdom.

Bubblegum grinned. Marceline cocked an eyebrow.  
"So that's the story they teach you at Princess Academy or whatever to get you to learn about aristocracy," she shrugged. "Big deal. What's the quest?"  
Bubblegum looked disgruntled. "Didn't you understand the message?"  
"Is the message that I hate monarchist society? Because I got that pretty well."  
"No, of course not! It's all about what makes a true king great."  
"Yeah, I was joking. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out, Bonnie."  
"Anyway, it's not a story, it's true. Well, according to legend, anyway."  
"A story that's true according to legend is still a story."  
"Be that as it may, we need to look for the Spirit Crown."  
Marceline sighed. "The reason for this quest is going to be really dumb, isn't it?"  
"According to ancient scrolls, the king's kingdom soon fell into turmoil, and the Spirit Crown began to resent its master. It sent the compass and sword flying back to their original positions, hidden from mortal sight. Nobody knows what became of the new kingdom, but there hasn't been a king on the throne in a good many years."  
"So you're dragging me out of the house in the middle of the day to go chase some made-up story?"  
"It's not made-up! Besides, what are you going to do anyway? Sit around here moping about your best friend the Ice-"  
Marceline's eyes glinted. Bubblegum shut her mouth.  
"I'm sorry. That was mean."  
"You said it," she sighed, floating upwards again. "Listen, Bonnie, it's not that I don't want to do the quest, it's that...."  
"You don't like me?"  
She scowled at the bottom of her strawberry bowl. "No, that's the opposite of the problem."  
"I don't understand."  
"Of course you don't. My concern, Bubblegum, is that this is going to be very, very awkward, because you never hang out with me voluntarily, and you haven't for... A good many years."  
"That's not true. I'm here now, aren't I?"  
"So what, we're going to forget everything that happened?" She turned around. "You might be good at forgetting the past, but I'm not. I'm notoriously bad at it, actually. So forgive me if I don't want to go on some phony quest with the same girl who-"  
She broke off, shook her head, and floated up the stairs.  
"Marcy, wait," Bubblegum called, taking them two by two to catch up with her. She shut the door and Bubblegum settled for yelling her message outside. "I'm not trying to bring back those memories, I'm just... Don't you think it's time we moved on? It's been such a long time. I kind of..."  
"Kind of what?"  
"Kind of miss hanging out with you," she muttered.  
Marceline opened the door, grinning broadly and bearing a heavy red backpack.  
"If you missed hanging out with me, you could have just said," she smirked, floating past her. "Get a move on, Bonnibel. That crown isn't going to find itself."  
Bubblegum watched her zip to the door and wait impatiently.  
"Lousy vampire hearing," she muttered.

"So where to first?" Marceline asked, as she locked the door and put her hat firmly on her head. The storm had passed, and the sun had come out once again. Bubblegum pinned back her hair and pulled out a map.  
"The Rolling Desert. It's this way. Follow me."  
She set off, the vampire grinning behind her.  
"Bubblegum, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."


	2. Hot Suns and Icy Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bubblegum and Marceline begin their journey for the Spirit Crown. However, it soon becomes apparent that the facade of a quest and some good intentions might not be enough to smooth over years of untouched back story. Will they be able to work it out? Or will they have to trawl through a veritable marsh of complicated emotions and mixed feelings just to stand the sight of each other? Only one way to find out...

"So, do you have any idea at all about where we're going?"  
The two of them strode across a wide, desert expanse. All around them the sand glowed yellow and burned the soles of their feet. Bubblegum wiped her forehead and looked about, trying to catch a glimpse of anything disrupting the toneless horizon. Above the blue sky was leached grey by a boiling sun. Marceline looked particularly annoyed, floating beside her with her umbrella up and a scowl printed on her face.   
"Some idea, yes," Bubblegum said. "See, this map tells us-"  
"Blah, blah," Marceline sighed. "So dull. Don't you know that the only way to adventure is without any clue about anything?"  
"That's dumb," Bubblegum asserted. "How are you supposed to know where to go?"  
"You don't, silly. That's the whole idea."  
"You were just complaining about it."  
"I wasn't complaining. I was trying to see if you'd become awesome in that three hour long silence. You haven't."  
Bubblegum scowled and looked down at the map. It was relatively useless, being mostly yellow with a small red dot where the Compass was supposed to be hidden, but she liked the security. Marceline obviously didn't.  
"What's the point of life if you don't live a little?"   
"I live a lot!"  
"You don't live at all," she grinned, "and that's coming from me."  
"I'm the princess of the Candy Kingdom," she said, a tad huffy. "If that doesn't qualify as living, I don't know what does."  
"Running barefoot in a knife storm?" Marceline suggested. "Poking a sleeping dragon with a sword? Flying upside down in the middle of the night? Swimming with deadly pincer fish? Having dinner at Cotton Carl's Inadequate Eatery?"  
"You can't do those things."  
"Wrong, I've done all of those things! Except for eating at Cotton Carl's, but let's face it, that's completely impossible."  
"Well, it's different for you, isn't it?"  
"How so?"  
"You're different."  
"Meaning I'm awesome?" She grinned winningly.  
"Meaning you're immortal," Bubblegum said, rolling her eyes. "The same rules don't apply. You can do whatever you like, and you'll just heal."  
"It doesn't mean it won't hurt. There's still risk."  
"Yes, but not as much."  
"Well, what about you?"  
"What about me?"  
"You're immortal too. And you're super old. You can't use that as an excuse."  
"I have responsibilities."  
"Oh, well, ooh la la," Marceline grumbled. "Can't your precious citizens live a day on their own?"  
"No! They're literally made of sugar."  
"Oh, I get it," she grinned. "You're scared to go out, because you'll melt, or dissolve, or something like that."  
"No, don't be idiotic."  
"Well who's looking after the kingdom today?"  
"Finn."  
Marceline laughed a short, sharp laugh. "Man, you've really got him on a leash."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"The kid'd do anything for you, Bonnie. Don't tell me you don't see it."  
"See... What?"  
Marceline raised her eyebrows at her. "Never mind."  
"What?"  
"I said never mind. The point is, you have no excuse for living the life you do."  
Bubblegum shook her head and looked down at the map. A strong wind began to blow, and it was whipped out of her hands, fluttering away on the hot breeze.  
"That's nice," Marceline sighed. "It's far too hot out here."  
"Our map!"  
Bubblegum ran a small way after it, then realised that it was pointless. "How are we going to find our way around now?"  
"We'll just head in a random direction," Marceline shrugged.  
"No!" Bubblegum shouted. "That's not how it works! That's not how it's supposed to go!"  
"How is it supposed to go, then? We're supposed to follow your useless map?"  
"It's not useless!"  
"It is now! Look, we wouldn't have gotten into this mess if you hadn't been so reliant on the map in the first place. Or, you know, if you'd left the quest to the adventure boy and his little pooch. Isn't that how these things usually go down?"  
"What's your point?"  
"Just that you're usually so easy to read, and all of a sudden you've gone into adventure mode."  
"What's wrong with it?"  
"Nothing! I have no issue with this side of you. You're just really, really bad at it."  
"Who are you to criticize me?" She glared at the vampire. "You don't live with any responsibility at all. What do you know about helping your kingdom?"  
"What, so this quest is about your kingdom now? Your silly little claim to a mythical crown..."  
"It's not silly, it's important!"  
"Why is it important?" Marceline's eyes darkened, and she hovered a few inches closer, so that there was barely any distance between them. Bubblegum's breath caught in her throat a little. "Why on earth did you haul me out into the blazing sun, on a stupid mission for some made up artifact you learned about way back when you were choking on that silver spoon? What's your motive here? You could just as easily have gotten Finn and Jake. I'm sure they would have loved to help."  
"That's not important," Bubblegum said, avoiding her eyes. After a moment, Marceline laughed, and drifted off again.  
"Of course it isn't. How stupid am I for doing this? Glob."  
"Look, maybe it wasn't the best idea, okay?" Bubblegum swallowed her pride as Marceline turned around, curiosity piqued. Nothing interested her more than the princess admitting her flaws. Bubblegum sighed and rolled her eyes upwards. "I admit it. It wasn't one of my better plans. But we're here now, in the middle of the desert, with no map and no hope of getting rescued. So maybe we should just deal with it."  
"Deal with it?" She raised an eyebrow.  
"Yeah. I mean, we're not going to get out of here, and I don't want to turn back now, so... Would you mind sticking it out? We may as well use the time to our advantage. I mean, it isn't as if our joint backstory is completely spotless."  
"You could say that," Marceline said, a small smile creeping to her face.  
"Can we just struggle ahead?" Bubblegum put on her wheedling voice. "Come on, Marcie. When we're done you never have to talk to me again. Please?"  
Bubblegum could see her softening. She knew she couldn't resist her nickname.  
"Fine," she sighed. "Let's go this way."  
"Why?"  
"Why not?" She grinned and started walking. "Time's a wasting, Bonnibel. That crown isn't going to find itself."  
Bubblegum smiled as the vampire retreated. Everything was going relatively well, if you ignored the convenient map disappearance, and she had managed to avoid a relatively major catastrophe. It was hard not to feel proud of herself. Things looked as if they might actually be tolerable- Glob, this could actually be FUN. She smiled a little and hurried after her friend.  
Now they just had to find the darn crown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me if you read the last chapter. This is a thing! Yay!


	3. Complex Riddles and General Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The search for the crown is well under way, and now that the adventurers have agreed to set aside their differences- for now- it's time to get down to some serious digging. Literally. Not in a Famous Five-esque mystery discovery way, but in an on-your-knees, hands-in-the-dirt kind of way. There's a lot of sand, and that compass isn't going to find itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a day late, if you were eagerly awaiting it.

It was as if the sun had decided to be particularly irksome on the one day that Marceline had to float around in it. She wasn't typically a fan of sunlight- it came with the role of demonic creature of the night- but surely it wasn't always this hot and bothersome. Maybe it was because they had been moving for almost a day now, without any hint as to where the compass might be. Or perhaps it was because the well of conversation had run dry a while ago, and there was nothing to do but think about the pain in her limbs and the hours left until nightfall. Whatever the reason, Marceline was getting grumpy, and that was never the precursor to anything nice.  
"I regret my decision," she sighed. "We probably would have been better off with a map."  
Bubblegum looked a little smug, but said nothing, either to avoid annoying Marceline or avoid getting her face ripped off. "It doesn't matter now, like you said. We'll just have to hope that there's a significant landmark somewhere."  
"Oh gee, I wonder if there is?" She gesticulated wildly to their harsh flat surroundings. "There's nothing here but you, me and a heck of a lot of sand. If there were any significant landmarks, we would have seen them by now."  
In the corner of her eye she caught a sparkling glimmer. Bubblegum fussed with her bag as she floated towards it a little.  
"Maybe it isn't visible," the princess said, pulling out a strange looking device with a purple nozzle and at least twenty more buttons than was practical or necessary. "I mean, if the Spirit was really annoyed, it wouldn't leave it in an easy place, would it? Perhaps I can make it appear with my quantum telegraph machine. Or maybe what we really have to do is believe in ourselves, and follow the known truth in our hearts. After all, the only real compass is the moral one inside everybody."  
"Speak for yourself," Marceline snorted.  
"I'm just saying that these sorts of things usually have some sort of cryptic undertone that renders the whole treasure map thing useless. As long as we discover the power of friendship, we should be good. I think that if we probe ourselves, look into our own souls, and sort out the internal riddle of who we are and what our place is, nothing can hinder us."  
"Okay, you do that. I'm going to follow that mysterious object."   
She pointed to the glimmer in the distance, which had grown as they walked into a long, shimmering spire that poked through the sand like a candle on top of the most disappointing birthday cake ever conceived. It was perfectly straight and seemed too thin and tall to be allowed. Marceline was used to logic being completely ignored- normality had kind of leapt out the window ever since the War- but this seemed like a step too far, even by Ooo's relatively low standards. She stepped forwards and closed the distance between herself and the pillar, holding a hand against its metal exterior. It was warm from sitting in the sun and thrummed with a sort of internal rhythm, as if it possessed a functioning heart. It unnerved her slightly, and she stepped away.  
"What is it?" she asked.  
"I- I don't know," Bubblegum swallowed.  
"Well, it's a significant landmark if ever I saw one," Marceline smiled, but she couldn't muster up anything stronger than that. Her usually sharp tongue felt devoid of any barbs to throw in Bubblegum's direction. It was a new experience to say the least.  
"Do you think it has something to do with the compass?"  
"How could it not?" Marceline floated a little way around it so that she was standing in its long shadow. Its diameter wasn't terribly large, and she could still see Bubblegum on the other side. It was weird. "Big metal thingy in the middle of the desert. Totally not anything to do with this quest. Just two completely unrelated silly things in the same thing."  
"Are you alright?"  
"I-I don't know." She shook her head and peered up at the top of the spire. It would have disappeared into the clouds, had there been a single droplet of moisture withing fifty miles of their current spot. Instead it jutted straight up and into obscurity. It looked like it was physically piercing the sky. Why did that thought scare her so much? The sky had never done anything for her. "It makes me feel strange."  
"I can see what you mean," Bubblegum admitted, rubbing her temples. "The last time I felt like this was-"  
"That night we went to Fangs in the Moonlight?" Marceline wiggled her eyebrows.  
"I was going to say the morning after that," Bubblegum smirked. Things have progressed to the playful flirting stage, Marceline realised, and for some reason, that thought freaked her out. Warning bells started going off. What in the name of glob was going on?  
"We need to sort this out," she said, shaking her head again. Bubblegum pulled out a small blue box and attached it to the metal. She looked at it, nodded, made a small grunting noise, and put it back in her bag again. "What did that do?"  
"Nothing," she sighed. "I thought it would be more effective."  
"Hang on, PB, I'll be right back."  
Marceline jumped and started twirling upwards and scaling the spire. The further she flew, the thinner it grew, and she found herself thinking very hastily about not looking down. She was never afraid of heights. In fact, she loved them. So why was she so scared all of a sudden?   
She reached the top, where the metal reached a sharp edge. From here, it looked as if the spire were a needle. She tapped it with the top of her finger and hissed as blood welled up from the cut.   
"What can you see?" Bubblegum's voice was distant at the bottom of the spire.   
"Not much," Marceline called back, turning around. "Just lots and lots of sand... The shadow of the spire..."  
She narrowed her eyes at the line of black in the sand, an idea crashing into her head like an intelligent load of stones. She followed the long shadow and watched it recede into the distance...  
"It's a compass!" she exclaimed.  
"What?"  
She stopped floating in order to plummet back to Bubblegum, hovering again just before she collided with the ground.  
"Glob, don't do that." Bubblegum clasped her chest and exhaled. "You'll scare me to death."  
"It's a compass," Marceline repeated excitedly, grabbing Bubblegum's shoulders and giving them a small shake. "The spire. It's pointing in the direction of the next spot, see?" She pointed along the shadow. "It's got to!"  
"But- But how? How was the sun in the right position to make that happen?"  
"Magic," Marceline explained happily.  
"What?"  
"You're the princess of a candy empire, I would have expected your mind to be open."  
"But there's no logic here."  
"Why look for logic? It'll only spoil the mood!"  
"But we need a compass, a physical compass. How else are we going to find our way? Besides, the shadow mightn't even extend to the forest. How do you know it isn't a mirage, or something?"  
"It might be a mirage, it might be magic. Either way, it's the only clue we've got, and if we follow it, we're no worse off than before. Let's go!"  
Feeling quite chuffed with herself, Marceline started floating ahead, a little too fast for Bubblegum to keep up with. Every centimeter forward lessened her assurance a little- it looked like there was nothing in the distance, just more and more sand. What had she even expected? For the forest to spring up around them like a reward? It was all silly. She couldn't believe she had done this.  
As the shadow stopped, so did she. There was nothing. Just the end of the spire etched in black on the yellow sand. Disappointment flooded her, but also some sense of dejected gratification. See, her brain sighed, I knew we weren't going to figure it out.  
Bubblegum panted to a halt beside her. "Nothing?"  
"Nothing," she sighed. "This was silly. I just got excited, I think. We should probably keep on going regardless. This might even be a trap, knowing our luck. Isn't this how these things always go? That would be just typical. Bubblegum?"  
She wasn't listening. Instead, she was on her knees, pawing at the ground where the shadow ended. For a moment, Marceline felt upset- was dirt really more important than she was? Then she realised what the princess was up to, and joined in.  
"Bubblegum, you are brilliant."  
They dug at the sand for the rest of the afternoon, shovelling handfuls out of the steadily growing ditch and adding to the growing mountains around them. The sun set eventually, as it is wont to do from time to time, and Marceline disposed of her parasol. The sand burned her fingers, but that didn't matter very much. They were close to something. Bubblegum ahd to be right. She could tell. She couldn't stand another red herring.  
"I've got something," Bubblegum said suddenly. She reached into the sand and pulled a fist out. Clenched between her fingers was the compass, silver and rusty and haggard with age, but there, and real, and not imagined by the heat.  
"Yes!" Marceline made a fist in the air and flopped backwards. "Hoo dang, that was quite an afternoon."  
"Shall we stay here for the night?"  
"Sounds good."  
Bubblegum unrolled two sleeping bags as Marceline sucked a red eraser thoughtfully dry. They lay beside each other in the still night, looking up at the stars. They poked through the soft night sky like holes in a tent. Marceline was reminded forcefully of her time with Simon, and pushed the thought from her head.  
"Good thinking," Bubblegum said quietly.  
"What do you mean? You were the one who found the compass."  
"I wouldn't have thought of digging if you hadn't figured out the spire. I think the feelings of confusion were all part of the Spirit's curse- it was trying to throw us off the scent."  
"I don't know," Marceline sighed. "I think things are always confusing, until you figure them out. Magic was probably involved somehow, you're right, but to the same extent, it was a perfectly natural thing to get confused around. Lots of stuff can leave you tongue-tied, be it a spire, a kingdom or a crown..." She trailed off and coughed. "I think I get confused by a lot of stuff. I always have. Life is confusing when you're somebody like me. And it doesn't help when you're being dragged on quests by princesses made of sugar..."  
She looked to her left, and saw that Bubblegum was asleep on her arm. She smiled a little. Things were confusing, and they'd never stop being that. But for now, one thing made sense. One thing had stopped being confusing, and that was all she could ever ask for. So she settled under the blanket, sighed happily, and lifted her arm. Bubblegum's head flopped onto Marceline's chest and she wrapped an arm around her waist unconsciously, as if the vampire were some gigantic stuffed toy. Marceline smiled again, and fell asleep more contented than she ever would have thought possible in a giant, endless desert.


	4. Princess Ways and Vampire Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The compass has been found, and with it a new sense of purpose for the princess and her vampire friend. Now that they have some idea of where to actually go, it's time to get on with it, and they set off to find the next artifact on the list- the Spirit's sword. But on the way, will they learn a thing or two about each other, and about friendship and acceptance?  
> Yes. Sorry for the spoiler, but yes, I daresay they will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry it was late. I'll probably just start updating on Saturdays instead of perpetually disappointing you.

Bubblegum looked over as Marceline blearily sat up. "Good morning."  
"What time is it?" She checked her watch and flopped backwards, almost dislodging the umbrella that Bubblegum had stuck in the sand to cover her.  
"Breakfast," Bubblegum shrugged, gesturing to the fire she had constructed. Marceline, looking a little confused, stretched and put on her hat.  
"How long have you been awake?" She flew out and joined her, sitting a respectful distance away from the crackling, deadly fire.  
Bubblegum shrugged again. "I don't know. It was still dark, so I figured I'd put up an umbrella, in case you didn't wake up in time in the morning. Then I realized I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, so I started cooking and doing... Stuff."  
"What sort of stuff?"  
"I don't know, stuff. You took ages to wake up."  
"I am nocturnal. Cut me a bit of slack."  
"Okay, okay, sorry." She pulled her toast out of the fire and tore a corner off the crust, popping it into her mouth. Marceline raised her eyebrows.  
"That's how you eat toast?"  
"Yes."  
"You're so prissy."  
"How do you eat toast, then?"  
"I don't, I eat red, you know that."  
"Right." She prodded the fire and sighed. "Forgot."  
"How do you forget?" Marceline pulled out a packet of erasers and sucked one dry.  
"I don't know. It's been ages since we've eaten together."  
"It's been ages since we slept together, too."  
There was a moment of silence. Bubblegum stood up, finished her toast, and kicked out the fire.  
"Come on. Big day."  
She set about packing up their equipment. Marceline hovered behind her looking very amused.  
"What, don't you want to talk about it?"  
"That's right."  
"You were getting awfully cosy..."  
"I don't want to talk about it, Marceline." She turned around and smiled. "It didn't happen!"  
"It did, though," she protested, as they started walking in the direction of the compass needle.  
"No it didn't."  
"Bubblegum..."  
"Marceline, I didn't sleep with you last night. We participated in twelve hour hibernation in close quarters, but we did not sleep together."  
"Right, right," the vampire smirked. "They were just VERY close quarters."  
Bubblegum decided to ignore her.

They walked in silence for a short way. Bubblegum thought about the mission, the crown, Finn, Marceline, the past, the mission and Marceline in different turns before the vampire finally spoke up.  
"Where did you learn to eat toast like that?"  
"You're still on that?"  
"Yes, I'm still on that, it's a ridiculous way to eat bread."  
"You don't even eat bread."  
"Yet even I think your method is dopey. Reveal to me where you learnt the secrets to idiotic food consumption."  
Bubblegum laughed. "Princess school."  
If Marceline had been drinking from a large glass of water, and was able to drink water, she would have immediately spat up the contents in a spectacularly comedic display of incredulity upon hearing this ludicrous statement.  
"Princess school is an actual THING?"  
"Yes, it's a thing."  
"I always thought people made it up to make fun of you!"  
"No, it's really a thing. Most of the princesses have been there."  
"What do they teach you? I mean, other than how to eat toast like an idiot."  
"You know, manners, royal practice, law, discipline, all the rules of the kingdom, prison administration- everything you need to be a leader."  
"That's ridiculous, but also kind of awesome, in an incredibly dorky way. You tend to toe that line a lot, Bonnie."  
She blushed and coughed to hide it. "I'm surprised that you didn't go there."  
"Me?" She raised an eyebrow and let out a short, sharp laugh. "What would I be doing at princess school?"  
"Learning to be a princess," she said, brow furrowing. "You're father is the king of the Nightosphere."  
"He's more of a lord," she sighed. "And that's not really anything to be proud of. Queens of the Nightosphere don't need to know about much more than killing, maiming and thinking of various gruesomely ironic punishment for unfortunate souls. That's how dad made his living."  
Bubblegum swallowed. "That's rather intense."  
Marceline grinned. "You must have wondered where I got it from."  
Bubblegum smiled. Silence settled once more on the situation, and she reflected on her time at school. It had been rather silly, in retrospect, but it had all seemed very important at the time. She wondered if any of the other princesses had thought about it much.  
"Did you go to Raspberry Princess's party?" she asked. Silence didn't suit Marceline.  
"No." She made a face. "Why would I?"  
"I don't know," she mumbled. After a moment, she spoke again. "You hear about Rag Doll Princess's sock?"  
"What, what happened to her sock?"  
"I'm surprised you haven't heard of it."  
"I haven't talked to Rag Doll princess in years. What happened to her sock?"  
"She accidentally sewed it to her knee."  
"How did she even get caught up in that situation?"  
"I don't know, but she was very upset about the whole ordeal."  
"Weird. Last time I saw her, she was missing a sock."  
"Why was she talking to you?"  
"She wanted help finding it."  
"And?"  
"And I told her to leave me alone." She shoved her hands in her pockets and sighed.  
"Why don't you like talking to the other princesses?"  
"They're elitist and vapid and they don't know what's going on."  
Bubblegum frowned. "I'm a princess, you know."  
"What, you are? I hadn't noticed." She glanced to her companion. "Ah, I've offended you, haven't I? Darn."  
"I don't like being called vapid."  
"You're not vapid."  
"But the others are?"  
"No, look, I..." She broke off and sighed. "I didn't mean it. That's just an excuse, I guess. None of them like me, so I steer clear, in case things get nasty."  
"You're worried you'll attack them?"  
"Not just that. But Raspberry Princess is made entirely of red..." She shook her head and looked up. "I'm used to being alone," she said bracingly. "I've been alone a lot. After everything that happened before, during and especially after the War, I realised that nothing stays the same, and nobody stays the way you think they will forever. Particularly not the people you hold closest." She paused for a moment, then continued. "I also realised that throughout the whole arduous process of life and not-life and everything in between only one thing remained constant, and that was me. So I stick with myself, because I'm the only thing that I know is never going to change. Ever."  
Bubblegum wasn't sure how to respond. She was used to other people depending on her, and her depending on them in turn, and the thought of rejecting all of that seemed completely absurd. It didn't make sense. She was trying to live in Marceline's shoes, and she found that they didn't fit at all.  
"I don't understand," she said eventually. "If you don't want others to change, then you'll never let them change you."  
"I wouldn't want them to," she returned stubbornly. "If you change for somebody else, that just means that you'll have to change back when they turn around and leave."  
"How do you know they're going to leave?"  
"Personal experience."  
"So you don't trust anyone?"  
"A few people," she said, with a sideways glance. "Not many, though. There's not much point in making personal investments that you're going to outlive."  
"I disagree. I think that if you're going to live forever, you've got to take advantage of it, and make as many friends as possible, and change as many lives as you can." She watched Marceline carefully. "I know there are a lot of people who you don't trust, and even more that you thought you could but couldn't, and I know I was probably one of them for a long time. But there's no reason to be scared of change. You shouldn't be afraid of letting people get close."  
She had edged towards her without realising. Marceline, after a brief pause, turned and grinned.  
"Says the princess who doesn't want to admit what she did last night."  
"We did nothing!"  
Marceline zoomed ahead, laughing, and Bubblegum only waited a second to go running after her.


	5. Endless Sands and Sudden Realisations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aforementioned sands seem to truly live up to their name as Bubblegum and Marceline continue to slog through the desert. There's no end in sight. Is the compass broken? Or did they just bite off more than they could chew? Whatever the reason, here's hoping they find a way out soon- this is getting dull.

"I never thought I'd say this," Bubblegum sighed, "but I'm almost starting to regret my decision."  
Marceline snickered. "You've never said that about anything, ever?"  
She glanced at her. "Not about many things."  
Marceline raised her eyebrows and continued looking ahead. There wasn't much else to look at, in fairness. Deserts aren't renowned for their spectacular aesthetics, or for boasting anything other than a large amount of sand and a very hot sun. She scowled at the roof of her umbrella and wished they were under the trees. The forest couldn't come soon enough, yet it was nowhere in sight.  
"Are you sure we're going the right way?"  
"Positive," Bubblegum frowned, peering again at the compass. Its needle pointed firmly ahead of them. "Unless this thing is broken, then we're headed dead on track."  
"As we have been, for the past three days, or however long this quest has taken."  
"At least it isn't broken."  
"True. That would be disappointing, to say the least."  
"This whole thing is disappointing," she sighed. Marceline raised her eyebrows.  
"In what way? I thought you were enjoying this."  
"I am. I guess. I don't know. I sort of got it into my head that this would all be over in a matter of minutes."  
Marceline laughed. "Seriously?"  
"Yes!" She crossed her arms huffily and looked at the ground. "I'm used to things happening quickly. This was supposed to take a day or two, tops, and we're not even halfway there. We've barely even started. At this point I would have expected us to be carrying the crown and a new sense of self, but instead we've got a rusty compass, a depleting food supply and melting limbs."  
"Melting? Speak for yourself..."  
"You'd be just as bad if I took your parasol."  
Marceline gripped the handle protectively and floated backwards. "Hey now, hands off."  
Bubblegum laughed. "Relax, I wouldn't do that."  
"Good. Because I'm still a vampire, and I can still drink you dry."  
"Please, you only eat red, and I don't have blood- only bubblegum."  
"Pink's pretty close," she grinned. Bubblegum blinked.  
"Okay. Point taken."  
"That reminds me..." She reached into her pocket and brought out her nearly empty bag of red erasers. "You raised a good point about food. If we don't find some more soon, then I might actually have to eat you."  
"Please don't."  
"I'm not going to."  
"Good."  
"Seriously, though. What are we going to do? Surely you have some sort of solution tucked into your backpack. Whip out some science, Bonnie, I'm hungry."  
"You can't eat science."  
"YOU CAN TRY."  
She smiled and looked into her bag. "Okay, I've got... Nothing."  
Marceline groaned. "Seriously?"  
"Seriously! Like I said, this took way longer than I thought it would."  
"You're the worst."  
"You're getting grumpy. Eat an eraser."  
She looked dubiously into her pack. "It's my last one."  
"I'd rather it than me. Eat up."  
She paused a moment, shrugged, and sunk her teeth into it.   
"I guess we just keep walking," Bubblegum sighed. "Nothing else to do."  
Marceline stopped dead in her tracks (Get it? Like a vampire). Bubblegum took a moment to realise, then turned and cocked her head.  
"What's up?"  
"I'm such an idiot!"  
"So what?"  
"I never even realised that we don't have to walk! Hang on, did you just call me an idiot?"  
"What can we do instead of walking? Fly?" Marceline raised her eyebrows and counted down from three until Bubblegum realised the obvious. Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' as she connected the dots.   
"OH. Oh my goodness. I completely forgot."  
Marceline grinned and hovered a few centimeters higher into the air. "I'll just carry you the rest of the way! It'll be a whole lot quicker, why didn't I think of this?"  
"Wait a second, how can we AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH-"  
Marceline cut her off halfway through with an arm around the waist and hoisted her into the air. As the princess screamed she let out an exulted whoop and did a small flip, which did nothing to quell Bubblegum's apparent terror. Marceline conceded that it probably wouldn't be a good idea anyway- with the princess in one hand, she had to be careful with her parasol. She flew as fast as she could, and eventually her passenger quietened down.  
"See?" she called over the deafening wind. "This is so much easier!"  
"Speak for yourself," she replied in a shaky voice. "THIS IS TERRIFYING."  
"Speak for yourself- Look!" She pulled Bubblegum a little higher so that she could see the dim green line on the horizon. "There it is!"  
"Okay, great." She closed her eyes and clung onto Marceline's neck. "Take us as fast as possible, and I'll try not to throw up."  
"Good deal." She grinned and enjoyed the feel of the princess for a moment. Then she snapped out of it and focused on moving as fast as possible. The forest grew closer and closer, and she tried to ignore how large it seemed. She prayed that they wouldn't be going from one endless expanse to another. Beside her Bubblegum was muttering small securities, her arms steadily tightening their hold of her neck, her legs occasionally gracing the back of Marceline's thigh and her chest heaving sporadically as she tried to keep her breathing even. Marceline narrowed her eyes and began their descent into what looked like a clearing. As they neared the canopy she slowed down enough to prevent being staked by an errant branch, and they finally reached the leafy floor.   
She landed lightly and waited for Bubblegum to loosen her grip. She didn't. After a moment, Marceline wrapped her second arm around her, and they shared the sort of embrace she hadn't felt in a long time. Then Bubblegum pulled away, wiped something from her eye, and muttered an indistinct comment about wind-speed velocity. She knelt beside a tree trunk and started rummaging in her pack.  
"We're not acknowledging it?" Marceline asked.  
"We're not acknowledging it," she confirmed.   
Marceline rolled her eyes upwards at the leaves overhead and sighed. "That figures."  
"Thanks for the lift."  
"Nice pun."  
"I thought so."  
An awkward silence descended. Marceline put down her parasol, leaned against a tree and sighed.  
"Things were going so well..."  
"What?"  
"Nothing." She shut her eyes. "Nothing happened. Never mind."  
Silence settled again. Marceline focused on ignoring it.


	6. Endless Trees and Stormy Seas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The desert is finally coming to a halt, and the next part of Bubblegum and Marceline's journey is visible- the forest. Once inside, they'll need to find the Spirit's sword, and they'll be one step closer to finding the crown and ending this silly quest. Until then, however, there are some more pressing matters- matters of a distinctly familiar kind....

"I never thought I'd say this," Bubblegum sighed, "but I'm almost starting to regret my decision."  
Marceline snickered. "You've never said that about anything, ever?"  
She glanced at her. "Not many."  
Marceline raised her eyebrows and continued looking ahead. There wasn't much else to look at, in fairness. Deserts aren't renowned for their spectacular aesthetics, or for boasting anything other than a large amount of sand and a very hot sun. She scowled at the roof of her umbrella and wished they were under the trees. The forest couldn't come soon enough, yet it was nowhere in sight.  
"Are you sure we're going the right way?" she asked, sighing.  
"Positive," Bubblegum frowned, peering again at the compass. Its needle pointed firmly ahead of them. "Unless this thing is broken, then we're headed dead on track."  
"As we have been, for the past three days, or however long this quest has taken."  
"At least it isn't broken."  
"True. That would be disappointing, to say the least."  
"This whole thing is disappointing," she sighed. Marceline raised her eyebrows.  
"In what way? I thought you were enjoying this."  
"I am. I guess. I don't know. I sort of got it into my head that this would all be over in a matter of minutes."  
Marceline laughed. "Seriously?"  
"Yes!" She crossed her arms huffily and looked at the ground. "I'm used to things happening quickly. This was supposed to take a day or two, tops, and we're not even halfway there. We've barely even started. At this point I would have expected us to be carrying the crown and a new sense of self, but instead we've got a rusty compass, too little food and a melting forehead."  
"Speak for yourself..."  
"Hey, shut it, you'd be just as bad if I took your parasol."  
Marceline gripped the handle protectively and floated backwards. "Hey now, hands off."  
Bubblegum laughed. "Relax, I wouldn't do that."  
"Good. Because I'm still a vampire, and I can still drink you dry."  
"Please, you only eat red, and I don't have blood- only bubblegum."  
"Pink's pretty close," she grinned. Bubblegum blinked.  
"Okay. Point taken."  
"That reminds me..." She reached into her pocket and brought out her nearly empty bag of red erasers. "You raised a good point about food. If we don't find some more soon, then I might actually have to eat you."  
"Please don't."  
"I'm not going to."  
"Good."  
"Seriously, though. What are we going to do? Surely you have some sort of solution tucked into your backpack. Whip out some science, Bonnie, I'm hungry."  
"You can't eat science."  
"YOU CAN TRY."  
She smiled and looked into her bag. "Okay, I've got... Nothing."  
Marceline groaned. "Seriously?"  
"Seriously! Like I said, this took way longer than I thought it would."  
"You're the worst."  
"You're getting grumpy. Eat an eraser."  
She looked dubiously into her pack. "It's my last one."  
"I'd rather it than me. Eat up."  
She paused a moment, shrugged, and sunk her teeth into it.   
"I guess we just keep walking," Bubblegum sighed. "Nothing else to do."  
Marceline stopped dead in her tracks (Get it? Like a vampire). Bubblegum took a moment to realise, then turned and cocked her head.  
"What's up?"  
"I'm such an idiot!"  
"So what?"  
"I never even realised that we don't have to walk! Hang on, did you just call me an idiot?"  
"What can we do instead of walking? Fly?" Marceline raised her eyebrows and counted down from three until Bubblegum realised the obvious. Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' as she connected the dots.   
"OH. Oh my goodness. I completely forgot."  
Marceline grinned and hovered a few centimeters higher into the air. "I'll just carry you the rest of the way! It'll be a whole lot quicker, why didn't I think of this?"  
"Wait a second, how can we AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH-"  
Marceline cut her off halfway through with an arm around the waist and hoisted her into the air. As the princess screamed she let out an exulted whoop and did a small flip, which did nothing to quell Bubblegum's apparent terror. Marceline reasoned that it probably wouldn't be a good idea anymore- with the princess in one hand, she had to be careful with her parasol. She flew as fast as she could, and eventually her passenger quietened down.  
"See?" she called over the deafening wind. "This is so much easier!"  
"Speak for yourself," she replied in a shaky voice. "THIS IS TERRIFYING."  
"Speak for yourself- Look!" She pulled Bubblegum a little higher so that she could see the dim green line on the horizon. "There it is!"  
"Okay, great." She closed her eyes and clung onto Marceline's neck. "Take us as fast as possible, and I'll try not to throw up."  
"Good deal." She grinned and enjoyed the feel of the princess for a moment. Then she snapped out of it and focused on moving as fast as possible. The forest grew closer and closer, and she tried to ignore how large it seemed. She prayed that they wouldn't be going from one endless expanse to another. Beside her Bubblegum was muttering small securities, her arms steadily tightening their hold of her neck, her legs occasionally gracing the back of Marceline's thigh and her chest heaving sporadically as she tried to keep her breathing even. Marceline narrowed her eyes and began their descent into what looked like a clearing. As they neared the canopy she slowed down enough to prevent being staked by an errant branch, and they finally reached the leafy floor.   
She landed lightly and waited for Bubblegum to loosen her grip. She didn't. After a moment, Marceline wrapped her second arm around her, and they shared the sort of embrace she hadn't felt in a long time. Then Bubblegum pulled away, wiped something from her eye, and muttered an indistinct comment about wind-speed velocity. She knelt beside a tree trunk and started rummaging in her pack.  
"We're not acknowledging it?" Marceline asked.  
"We're not acknowledging it," she confirmed.   
Marceline rolled her eyes upwards at the leaves overhead and sighed. "That figures."  
"Thanks for the lift."  
"Nice pun."  
"I thought so."  
An awkward silence descended. Marceline put down her parasol, leaned against a tree and sighed.  
"Things were going so well..."  
"What?"  
"Nothing." She shut her eyes. "Nothing happened. Never mind."  
"If you say so." The princess turned back to her work. Marceline sighed again.   
Nothing happened.


	7. Camping Trips and Awkward Situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, the girls have found the forest, and with it another leg of the journey. But nobody can be expected to walk through a fathomless expanse and talk about their feelings forever- sometimes you need to sit around a campfire and talk about your feelings forever.   
> Alternatively, you could just sleep. That always seems to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed a week! Certain shenanigans prevented me from updating. Fear not, though, for I have returned.

Trees are fascinating at the best of times, symbolic representations of a myriad of human conditions that can make any piece of poetry more cliched. At the worst of times, they are stone cold boring, and this fact did not escape Bubblegum's attention. She lay on her back and stared at the darkening canopy, sighing occasionally and wondering how many horrible lines of prose she could write about the nonsense in her head. She came to the conclusion that all of it would be horrible, and that she should just stick to being a science princess.  
For the thirteenth time that evening she wondered where Marceline had gotten to. Now that they were in the forest, there was an opportunity to get away from each other and spend some time alone, and Bubblegum couldn't really blame her vampire companion for sweeping into the foliage as quickly as possible- even she was feeling exhausted after the days of walking and emotional bonding. She sighed and flopped her arms a little. Marceline had said that she was going hunting. As hungry as Bubblegum was, she wasn't sure if she liked the sound of food from the forest. Knowing Marceline, it would almost definitely be meat, some unfortunate squirrel that had chosen the wrong night to hit the town. Her stomach growled and she reminded herself not to be sentimental. They were running out of food in a major way. Squirrel meat was better than nothing, even if it wasn't necessarily ethical.   
A crashing of branches introduced her partner's arrival, and Bubblegum sat up, Marceline fought her way into the clearing, cradling an armful of branches and slashing at wayward trees with her spare hand.  
"Glob, it's like this place is fighting against me," she sighed, depositing her load beside Bubblegum's leg. "I swear that the trees are sentient. They're up to something, mark my words."  
Bubblegum held up a thick branch and inspected it. It was covered in thick green leaves and red berries. "What's this?"  
"Food," she shrugged, sitting down. "They're not poisonous, I checked."  
"How?"  
"I ate one, and I didn't die."  
"You wouldn't die anyway, you heal naturally."  
"Yes, but I can tell when something would be deadly, and they aren't. Come on, show a little gratitude, I got us food things!" She grinned and sucked the crimson from one of the berries. "Eat up, Bonnie, this break can't last forever."  
Giving the berry one more suspicious sniff, she popped it into her mouth and was greeted by a wash of sugary deliciousness. It occurred to her exactly how hungry she was, and she quickly ate three more of them. "These are actually really good."  
"See? I provide." She leaned back against a tree and sighed contentedly. "How great is this? Got some berries, got some company, got the cover of night..." She gestured at their entire situation and put her hands behind her head.  
"What's your point?"  
"My point is that things aren't that bad." She rolled her eyes and drank some more red. "You need to lighten up."  
"I'm sorry, have I been moping?"  
"Just a little," she shrugged. "I wanted to leave you to brood for a moment. I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me."  
"Why not?"  
She raised her eyebrows and didn't respond. Bubblegum folded her arms and sighed.  
"I don't appreciate being lectured on moping by a vampire."  
"Vampires mope. It's in their nature. Haven't you ever read a soppy story about creatures like me? We live to brood."  
"You don't even live."  
"Exactly, that's how much we like to brood. What's your issue?"  
"I didn't think I was being especially stroppy, that's all."  
"Okay, maybe mopey isn't the best word. But you weren't speaking to me after our little flight. Am I misreading this?"  
Bubblegum tried to bore a hole in the nearest tree. "I don't know what you mean."  
"Oh, come on, Bonnie-"  
"Stop calling me that."  
She dropped the wheedling act and glared. "What should I call you, then, highness?"  
"Don't call me anything, just go off and hunt some more. You obviously don't want to be near me, right? You don't want to hang around a mopey princess, so just get going."  
There was a deadly silence.   
"How much about our time together have you tried to forget?"  
Bubblegum raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"  
Marceline picked idly with a stump. "I'm just curious, is all. You don't seem interested in discussing it. It's like you've just tried to erase it all from history."  
"We did break up, you know."  
"I know, trust me. But the least you could do is get over it."  
"I am over it!"  
"Then why do you always avoid me?" She stood up angrily and kicked the branches away. "I've spent years hating you. You pretend I don't exist unless it's convenient, and even then you treat me like some disgusting secret you've got to keep hidden and safe. Nobody knows about us, do they? You haven't even told any of your servants. I'm sick of being something from your past. I thought you were extending an olive branch by whisking me away in the middle of a storm, but no, you haven't changed a bit. And now, just when I thought we were going to get over it, you start acting like we never had anything intimate at all, like we never-"  
"That's enough," she yelled, and Marceline narrowed her eyes. "I don't know where all this is coming from. I thought we were getting close again too!"  
"So that's why you're pretending we didn't just fly in each other's arms, or that you didn't sleep curled up next to me?"  
Bubblegum's response caught in her throat and Marceline rolled her eyes.  
"Whatever. I'm going hunting some more."  
"We've got food."  
"Not enough. See ya, highness."  
She stopped at the edge of the clearing as Bubblegum angrily snapped a twig. She looked up. "What's the matter?"  
"Um..." Marceline floated back a few inches and swallowed. "Do you remember what I said about sentient trees?"  
"...Yes?"  
"Well, that mightn't have been completely false." She indicated the branches surrounding them, which had thickened and grow together. At first Bubblegum thought she was imagining it. Then she realised that they were still moving.   
"Oh dear," she managed. Then the trunk behind her gave a jolt and things started getting interesting.


	8. Enforced Cooperation and Mobile Foliage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tensions have risen once more between the girls, but we all know that there's nothing like a good old fashioned tree brawl to get people working together again. I'm sure this fight will help them forget their earlier altercation. Assuming, of course, that they get out alive.

"THIS IS UNUSUAL."  
Marceline was walking in a circle, her back to Bubblegum's, watching the movements of their twiggy attackers. The trees were coming closer, and it was undeniable now; their branches extended like spindly hands, and it might have been her panicked imagination, but it seemed as if the patterns on their trunks were churning into grotesque faces with bared teeth and gnarled, sunken eyes. She swallowed and balled her hands into fists. The princess hadn't responded to her statement, presumably because it was true, and there wasn't really anything to add. If she had any ideas, she wasn't spitting them out. For a second, Marceline felt angry. Then she reasoned that this wasn't the best time to bring up their fight again.  
"Any plans, highness?" She tried to laugh and ignored the rustling growling noise that was beginning to rise from the creatures. "Do you know what these things are?"  
"I- I don't know," she responded shakily. "I think that they're under a curse. This is the sort of activity you'd see if a witch wanted to protect themselves, or anybody with magic, really."  
"So there's a witch who really doesn't like us?"  
"Or maybe they just don't want us to get to the sword."  
"What? That's silly, it's just a dumb sword."  
"It's actually pretty important, Marceline, and it's the reason you're here, and I'm sick of telling you to respect this quest!"  
"We've got bigger fish to fry right now, princess! What are we supposed to do?"  
This question seemed to stump her. The trees were close enough to touch them now, but they had stopped- at least, it seemed like that. Marceline's breath was coming in ragged bursts. She swallowed and breathed out slowly.  
"Okay. Here's a plan. I can go into demon form, and smash them all to-"  
"What am I supposed to do?"  
"Provide moral support?"  
"No, I mean where am I meant to go? If you smash up the forest, I'll be buried in a pile of mulch. I think it's better if we can find my pack- it's got weapons."  
"I didn't know you brought weapons."  
"Of course I brought weapons, it's a quest! Do you think I'm an idiot?"  
"No, I thought you were soft, but it looks like I was wrong." She grinned a little. "I'm getting used to the cool side of you, Bonnie, I haven't seen it in a while."  
"Oh, shush," she groused.  
"Where's your pack, then? I want to blow these guys to bits."  
"It's not that sort of weapon, it's an organic subducer."  
"That doesn't sound very explosive," Marceline said doubtfully.  
"That's because it isn't. It'll split the bonds binding their atoms and turn them to mulch."  
"But no big boom?"  
"No big boom."  
"BORING."  
"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?"  
"I DON'T CARE IF YOU CARE!"  
"BIGGER FISH, MARCELINE," she screamed, and suddenly there were branches everywhere.   
Marceline ducked in time to avoid being impaled, and lashed out to snap the branch that had aimed at her abdomen. Without warning, the trees had attacked, pressing forward and smashing each other to pieces in an attempt to kill the girls. She couldn't see Bubblegum anymore. She could only hope that she was looking for the pack, and that this would be over as soon as possible.   
Five twigs closed around her wrist and she yanked it away, snapping the makeshift phalanges as she did. The trees were bad at ducking, so she kept low, crawling through and breaking branches wherever she could, keeping her eyes peeled for Bubblegum. A gap in the roots appeared, and she leaped to her feet.   
Several trees turned, and the faces were unmistakable now, like a face carved into the wood. She grinned and held up her hands.  
"Alright, fair cop. I surrender."  
This seemed to catch them off guard. One of them lunged forward to grab her arm. She caught what would have to pass for its wrist and brought her leg up. The wood creaked and snap as her foot slammed into it and she swirled the arm around over her head like a makeshift baton. Without anymore snappy one liners, she set about using it as a club, bringing it down on roots, branches, trunks, leaves, whatever she could find. Somewhere, she thought she heard a distinctly royal scream.  
"Marcie! The roots-"  
It was cut off, and Marceline channeled any fear or anxiety that she might have had into bashing at the ground near the closest tree, aiming for the roots. It did nothing. Wherever they were destroyed, they simply grew back, and it seemed as if they were stronger than ever.   
"It's not working!"  
Angry at the appalling advice, she aimed the tree limb like a baseball bat and split a tree in half. Behind it, Bubblegum stood, looking quite alarmed.   
"Well that worked."  
"What do you mean, 'the roots'?"  
"Oh. They grow back."  
Marceline raised her eyebrows. "Really, now?"  
"Yes, really, they-" She paused, narrowed her eyes, and aimed a punch at Marceline's head. The vampire yelled and ducked down, only to see the princess's fist collide with the jagged nose of an oncoming opponent. It didn't do much, and she winced on impact, but Marceline made up for it by smacking her makeshift weapon into its side, then using it to clamber back to her feet and smack it once more in the face.  
"Using a limb as a weapon," Bubblegum noted. "That's cruel."  
"Shut it, princess, I didn't come here for a lesson in morals. If I didn't find something I'd be using my fists like you."  
"What's wrong with my fists?"  
"Absolutely nothing, except for their bubblegum squishiness."  
"I AM MADE OF BUBBLEGUM."  
"REALLY, I HADN'T NOTICED!"  
"THIS IS SILLY."  
"I AGREE." She grabbed Bubblegum by the waist before she could protest and began to grow. "I AM GOING TO BE A DEMON NOW AND YOU CAN'T STOP IT."  
"BUT I-"  
"YOU CAN'T STOP IT."  
Bubblegum grew smaller and smaller in her grasp, and she knew that she probably looked terrifying, but that didn't matter, because with one kick she managed to turn twenty trees into splinters. The princess stared at her like she had sprouted horns, which was fair, because she had. The trees started to attack more vigorously, and she began to stomp, dislodging roots and branches and causing a veritable earthquake.  
"Watch it," Bubblegum warned.  
"WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU'RE SAFE, I'VE GOT YOU."  
"No, watch it- that thing- that thing on the distance WATCH OUT-"  
She only saw it when it was too late, and the black speck had gotten close enough to shoot something very painful at her head.  
Marceline shut her eyes and felt herself fall.


	9. House Guests and Misconceptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bubblegum is awake and confused. Trees have happened, and now, apparently, magic has as well.  
> Man, this story is just getting... I don't know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update this in a while... I guess I forgot that people are actually reading it.  
> *Realizes that people are actually reading it*  
> *Sweats*

Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum woke up with a thrumming headache, a mouth full of twigs and a whole lot of unanswered questions.  
She decided to deal with the second issue first, and wiped a hand over her lips. What had she fallen in, a pile of mulch? It was disgusting. She chanced a look over her shoulder to see if anybody was around and, after confirming that the room was empty, spat the remaining grit from her mouth in a spectacularly princess-like way. As she straightened up and kept her cool, she realised that she was in an empty room with nobody else in it, and allowed herself a small moment of panic.  
Wherever she had ended up was... Homely. She could certainly give it that. There was a section of the wall facing her cut out, and in the square gap left a fire crackled merrily. Well, not really merrily. Begrudgingly would be a better way to describe it. But it was there, against all the odds, and she supposed it added a subtle layer of warmth and colour to the otherwise hostile environment. The walls and floor were harsh red stone, complemented by shadows that flickered along with the fire. It was an interesting visual display, as much as it was a creepy one. She shuddered and tried not to dwell on the dark corners for very long. On the wall to her right there was a plain wooden door with no handle or windows to speak of. On the wall to her left there was a single picture of a single blue-skinned girl looking morosely at her. The floor was cold and covered with bits of tree. The bed that she had woken up on was hard. She wondered if there was a mattress underneath it, or just more red stone.  
She lifted up the corner and confirmed that the latter was true. Not homely, then, in any common sense of the word. Just concerning, really.  
This had gone far enough. She stood up and leaned against the wall for a moment as her head spun unpleasantly. As the world came into focus again, her resolve stiffened. She was going to find Marceline, figure out what was going on, get that globbing sword and be home in time for a relaxing pot of tea. Glob knew she needed it.  
The door led to a narrow stone corridor. Bubblegum poked her head out warily, then grabbed one of the larger boughs that had found a resting place on the ground. She didn't have her pack, so any protection was better than none. If worst came to worst she could always princess smash her opponent. Keeping the stick extended ahead of her, she turned into the corridor and followed a dim spot of light at the end of it.  
As she grew closer, the light grew stronger and brighter, and she relaxed her grip. Something akin to baking bread wafted towards her and she inhaled deeply. How long had it been since she had eaten properly? The last decent meal had been those berries.   
Berries. Marceline. Hurry up!  
She quickened her pace a little and emerged in a kitchen. This startled her. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting- probably some sort of evil lair- but this was the complete opposite of it. The walls and floor were furnished with bright pictures and a fuzzy blue rug. There were a number of appliances scattered haphazardly about the place, seemingly for the convenience it offered; a rusty looking oven stood in the middle of the room, about a metre away from the fridge, which was resting on its side and apparently running on something other than electricity. Lamps of every sort were positioned at regular intervals along the floor and walls. The strangest thing was probably a large black cauldron in the corner, sitting atop a crackling pile of twigs and vomiting clouds of purple steam, but Bubblegum reasoned that there could be any number of explanations for that. They were in Ooo, after all. A forest had just attacked them and interrupted their quest for a magical sword. It wasn't like things usually made a lot of sense.  
"Ah, you're awake!"  
A small figure wrapped in a long and ragged blue cloak bustled into view from behind what had once been a microwave and was now holding a stack of books. She caught Bubblegum's defensive stance and twig weapon and grinned. Her long black hair spilled over her shoulders and dragged on the floor behind her. The lamps cast a strange light on her blue skin. She reached into the folds of her cloak, pulled out a wand, and aimed it at the cauldron, whose smoke turned green.   
"I hope you don't mind that I brought you in. You seemed to be in a bit of a state, and that demon wasn't letting up."  
"Demon?" She blinked. "Marceline?"  
"That's her name?" She shook her head and nodded at a second door. "She's through there. I'm just giving her a little time to cool off, she was in quite a state. Used a bit of magic to get her calm again."  
"You didn't hurt her, did you?"  
She raised an eyebrow. "You care about her, do you?"  
A blush crept to her cheeks. "That's one way of putting it."  
She shook her head. "She'll be fine. You're welcome for the rescue, by the way."  
Bubblegum narrowed her eyes. "I didn't need saving. She was saving me. How do you know my name?"  
"What, because I called you princess? You're wearing a crown, darling, it's not that hard to deduce."  
She readjusted her tiara and cleared her throat. "Oh. Okay then."  
"What's all this about saving?" She cocked her head, then headed for the cauldron. "Take a seat, I want to know how a girl like you gets wrapped up in vampire shenanigans."  
"I didn't get wrapped up in it, I involved her." She leaned against the wall, because there didn't seem to be a seat to take. "I needed her help with something, so we were looking in the woods, and then the trees started to attack."  
"That's good," she said decisively, pulling a handful of something from the depths of her cloak and tossing it into the pot. "That's their job, that's what I need them to do. This is my forest. I'm Garla, by the way, pleased to meet you."  
"Garla..." Bubblegum frowned and straightened up. "You cursed the trees?"  
"Of course. Wouldn't want them being cut down or taken away. And they help with intruders, too." She turned and brandished an accusing spoon. "You shouldn't have been in my forest."  
"I'm sorry, we were just passing through. I had a quest."  
"For what?"  
"The Spirit's Sword."  
Garla stared for a moment, then burst into laughter. "Oh, kid. You're good. That's priceless."  
"I'm not kidding," Bubblegum said defensively, grip tightening on the stick. "It's important."  
"Not as important as your life, sweetcheeks, believe me." She wiped a tear from her eye and shook her head. "You want the sword? It's in the heart of my forest, guarded by as many spells as I can hold and as many monsters as I can trust. Getting in is only half as hard as getting out, and only one person has ever gotten in. Guess what happened to her."  
She swallowed. "What?"  
"I don't know," Garla grinned. "Nobody knows. Such is the beauty of my plan. Once you're in, you stay in."  
"So what, you want to keep your sword safe so badly that you'd-"  
"It's not my sword, darling. I just know what's good for us." She shook her head again and turned back to the cauldron. "That sword in the hands of the wrong person could destroy entire kingdoms. There's no way I'm letting you get to it."  
"I don't want to use it," she stressed. "I just... I just need it, okay? And I'm not leaving until you tell me where it is, and break down as many defenses as you can."  
"What makes you think I'll do that for you?"  
"I've got armies, and heroes, and angry vampires," she growled. "I'm holding a branch, so do as I say."  
Garla turned once more and looked her up and down, from torn dress to clean crown to needlessly sharp stick. She sighed. "Alright, lady. I'll strike you a deal. I'll help you, but you've got to help me back. Sound fair?"  
"Sounds fair," she decided, letting the branch fall. Garla shook her head and wiped her hands.  
"Give me a moment, I'll check on your friend."  
Bubblegum nodded and leaned her head back, suddenly very tired. It hadn't occurred to her that the sword might be being guarded. An alarming amount hadn't occurred to her, in hindsight. She groaned a little and smacked her head, trying to keep her thoughts positive. In fairness, she had screwed up. But to the same merit, they now knew what to do, and would have a hand doing it.  
Just strolling through an evil forest, fighting off monsters and curses and waiting to die of starvation. Simple.


	10. Additional Plans and Irons in the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls now find themselves in a rather unusual situation: Garla the witch is offering to help them find the sword, but for a price, and even then it's almost too dangerous to think about. What will they say to the plan? Who will they trust? Will they decide to carry on with the quest?  
> I certainly hope so, or this story is going to get very dull very quickly.

"Hey. Hey you. Vampire girl. Yeah."  
Marceline's eyes opened a crack. "What?"  
"I want to talk to you, sit up straight."  
She frowned and tried to focus on what was in front of her. It was hard. Her head hurt, her eyes refused to stay open and she was literally dying for a snack.  
"Who are you?"  
"Open your eyes and find out."  
Realising that she didn't have much of a choice, Marceline sat up, albeit grumpily. The squat woman in front of her grinned.  
"Yes, there we go. Well done. Good morning."  
"Good morning," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. A thought occurred to her and she looked up. "Bubblegum?"  
"Your princess friend is in the kitchen. Get up and come out, we need to talk."  
She sighed with relief. "I'll be a second."  
The woman grunted appreciatively and left. Marceline took as long as she could to stand up, stretch and look around. She was in a tiny room comprised mainly of packed dirt, and had apparently been sleeping on the floor. She wasn't sure what to think of this. With a small scowl, she opened the door and headed into the kitchen.  
"Sorry about your head," the woman said, bustling about with arms full of papers. Bubblegum waved shyly from the door. Marceline returned the favor and rubbed her eyes. "You were getting unruly in my forest."  
"Your forest? Those were your trees?"  
"Yes," she snapped, and because we covered this all last chapter, Marceline didn't question it.  
"Now, here's what's going to happen," the woman said. "I'm Garla, by the way. Sit with your princess."  
"You're my princess now, are you?" She raised an eyebrow and joined Bubblegum on the floor.  
"Ah, shut up," she grinned, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I'm glad you're not dead."  
"I am, though. Vampire, remember?"  
"Oh. Right."  
Marceline blinked. "Are we hugging?"  
Bubblegum lowered her arm. "Not really."  
"Okay." Garla tottered over to them and deposited her load of papers. She took one and unrolled it. It looked like a map of the forest. At least, that's what Marceline assumed, because she could just see a lot of shrubbish things that she assumed were trees. "This is the forest. Here's the sword." She tapped the centre of the circle. "Here's all my defenses." She gestured at the rest of the forest, then rolled up her map and spent a while selecting another one.  
"Did she really need a whole map just for that?" Marceline yawned. Bubblegum suppressed a giggle and Garla didn't notice anything.  
"This shows what I've put where," she reported. This map was organised into concentric coloured circles. "This is the trees," she said, pointing at the green outermost circle. "This is shadows," she continued, indicating the next circle, which was black. "Then we've got ogres, spiders and waves." She showed them the next three layers, brown, white and blue respectively. "I'm proud of waves. Take a step and you go for a swim." She grinned. Marceline and Bubblegum shared a glance. "The last one's where I just put any monster willing to set up shop, and in the same place as the sword there's Big Daddy."  
"Big Daddy?" Bubblegum's eyebrows knotted with concern. "Who's that?"  
"Less of a who, more of a what," Garla grinned. Her teeth were small and pointed. Marceline decided that she didn't like her very much. "He's trouble, I'll tell you now. Big trouble, if you've made it that far, which I don't think anybody has, but you never know, do you? What I'm getting at here is that you've got your work cut out for you."  
"Cheers, Bonnie," Marceline breathed.  
"Here's what I'm proposing," Garla said, fingertips touching together. "I can get rid of most of my spells. I can convince a few monsters to take a day off. You'll be dealing with some of them, not all of them, and that's a lot better than nothing at all."  
"Okay, cool," Marceline said slowly. "Where's the-"  
"Here's the catch," she continued.  
"Knew it," she muttered.  
"I need something in return. A couple of somethings, actually. Twenty-three of them."  
She pulled out a list and handed it to Bubblegum, who read it through then looked up. "A shopping list?"  
"I'm a witch," Garla shrugged, "I need ingredients. I can't get in there to get any, so you have to get them for me. You come and drop them off when you've got your sword, and you go. Sound fair?"  
"I guess," Marceline said, "though it seems a little silly to curse your own garden."  
"Hey, you stick to drinking red, I'll stick to witchcraft," she snapped.   
"We'll be happy to help," Bubblegum said sweetly, while Marceline scowled. "Thank you for assisting us."  
"That's no problem," she grumbled, standing up. "Give me a day or so to work out the antihexes, and then you'll be on your way."  
"A day or two?" Marceline asked. "Here?"  
"Yes," Bubblegume whispered, "but do be nice about it, she's the best chance we've got."  
"I don't like her."  
"Too bad."  
Marceline scowled and folded her arms. She supposed it was better than nothing, but was feeling an incredible amount of regret for ever coming along with this idiotic plan. Her head still throbbed from where Garla had cursed her. She watched the witch with narrowed eyes, certain that she was up to no good.   
She sighed and stood up. Only time would tell.


End file.
